Friday, December 27, 2019

Evening Of Light



(w/ Nico, David Bowie, Kevin Ayers, Mariah, Nino Rota, 矢野顕子, Broadcast, Stereolab, Stringtronics, Arthur Brown, Donovan, Spoils Of War, Christophe, Death And Vanilla, Bonnie Dobson, Testbild!, Fairport Convention, Claude Lombard, The Folklords, Principal Edwards Magic Theatre, Miharu Koshi, Pink Floyd, Colored Music, Takeshi Ohta, Masahide Sakuma & Dip In The Pool, Patten, more)


Tracklist:


  1. Oh! You Pretty Things / Eight Line Poem (David Bowie)
  2. Child Of My Kingdom (The Crazy World of Arthur Brown)
  3. Soon, Soon, Soon (Kevin Ayers)
  4. Ferber Endormi (Christophe)
  5. Never Never (Patten)
  6. In Again Out Again (The Spoils Of War)
  7. Chapter 24 (Pink Floyd)
  8. Asmoto Running Band (Principal Edwards Magic Theatre)
  9. Unchanging Window / Chord Simple (Broadcast)
  10. Barrikad (Testbild!)
  11. Undercover Girl (Stringtronics)
  12. Les Enfants Perle (Claude Lombard)
  13. If I Had A Ribbon Bow (Fairport Convention)
  14. Jennifer Lee (The Folklords)
  15. La Nouveile Frontiere (Pacification)
  16. Ya Nassini (Georgette Sayegh)
  17. Winter’s Going (Bonnie Dobson)
  18. Get Thy Bearings (Donovan)
  19. Puncture In The Radax Permutation (Stereolab)
  20. O Venezia, Venaga, Venusia (Nino Rota)
  21. From Above (Death And Vanilla)
  22. Come And Buy (The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown)
  23. Saviour Machine (David Bowie)
  24. Soko Kara (Mariah)
  25. Petit Paradise (Miharu Koshi)
  26. Pour Celui Qui Viendra (Marie Laforet)
  27. Locusts (Broadcast)
  28. A Taste Of Honey (Martin’s Magic Sounds)
  29. Michi De Battari (Akiko Yano)
  30. Porcelain (K Leimer)
  31. Heartbeat (Colored Music)
  32. Kokorowa (Killing Time)
  33. 黒いドレスの女 (Masahide Sakuma & Dip In The Pool)
  34. Cycles (Patten)
  35. Weirdsong of Breaking Through At Last (Principal Edwards Magic Theatre)
  36. According To No Plan (Broadcast)
  37. Evening Of Light (Nico)
  38. Good Night (Akiko Yano)

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Two Hands Writing



(w/ Fifty Foot Hose, Francois De Roubaix, Joe Meek & The Blue Men, Stereolab, The Flying Lizards, David Bowie, Arthur Brown's Kingdom Come, Andrew Brown, Dieter Moebius, The Advisory Circle, Nino Rota, Gwenno, Karin Krog, Mariah, The Human League, Oishii Seikatsu, Claude Perraudin, Syzygys, Taeko Ohnuki, Moon Wiring Club, Pink Floyd, Toolshed, Patten, Post Industrial Boys, Damscray, Akiko Yano, Steve Roach, Egg, After Dinner, MORE)

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Small Science



1. Runner! (Ian Neal)
2. Girl And Robot With Flowers (Pt. 1) (The Greg Foat Group)
3. Before The Dawn (Jacco Gardner)
4. Contraste (Fusioon)
5. A Visit To Newport Hospital (Egg)
6. Small Science (Imitation Electric Piano)
7. Less Time (Uilab)
8. Misty Canyon (Sven Libaek)
9. Non Sequensor (Tim Love Lee & Shawn Lee)
10. Cratte-Ciel (Jacques Siroul)
11. Cloudy Night (Jacky Giordiano)
12. Solid State (Johnny Scott)
13. Misly (Cordara Orchestra)
14. Race (Billy Green)
15. Bas Pour Travaux Rythmiques (Caravelli)
16. Do You Have Any Trouble With Your Neighbors (Death And Vanilla)
17. Psycho-nebulous (Blue Phantom)
18. Future Past (Absolute Elsewhere)
19. Blackout (Mike Nock)
20. Dark Is The Sun (Pt. 4) (The Greg Foat Group)
21. General Confessional (Electric Prunes)
22. Outside Of The Law (Sergio Ferraresi)
23. What We Do We Do (Imitation Electric Piano)
24. La Chanson de Slogan (Jane Birkin)
25. Punch and Judy Girl (Susie Klee)
26. Sparrows (Spratleys Japs)
27. En Kartbild Id Uton Sand (Testbild!)
28. The Disadvantages Of You (The Answer)
29. All Over (Jacco Gardner)
30. Kingdom Of The Birds (Ian Neal)
31. Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence (Ryuichi Sakamoto)

Colour Radio



1. Stridulum Theme (Franco Micalizzi)
2. Deshominisation (I) (Alain Goraguer)
3. Mystique (Francis Monkman)
4. Art Decade (David Bowie)
5. Widow Weirdo (Stereolab)
6. Doorbell (The Galaxy Electric)
7. Colour Radio (BBC Radiophonic Workshop)
8. Magnetic Bounds (Tara King Th.)
9. Girl And Robot With Flowers (Pt.4) (The Greg Foat Group)
10. Banbury Grove (Hong Kong In The 60s)
11. Phantom (Broadcast)
12. Sight On The Sea (Magical Ring)
13. The Net (Sam Spence)
14. Unforgotten Town (Belbury Poly)
15. Eternal Dimension (Roland Kovac New Set)
16. Ballad For Bernt (Testbild!)
17. A B C Ch D (Gwenno)
18. To Another Universe (Brainticket)
19. Ascend And Descend (Death And Vanilla)
20. Vespucci (BBC Radiophonic Workshop / Paddy Kingsland)
21. Tomorrow Was Better Yesterday (The Galaxy Electric)
22. Program (Silver Apples)
23. The Addict's Psalm (Ralph Carmichael)
24. Papercuts (Broadcast)
25. What Does Joan Say? (Lake Ruth)
26. In The Garden (Little Tornados)
27. L'Horrible Reve (Le Système Crapoutchik)
28. Y Gwylwyr (Bran)
29. Nefolaidd (Gwenno)
30. Lobster In Cleavage Probe (Hatfield And The North)
31. Meditation Des Enfants (Alain Goraguer)
32. With Bare Fists (Franco Bixio)
33. Clair De Lune (Les Baxter)
34. The Clearing (Hong Kong In The 60s)
35. Visions (Brainticket)

Friday, November 1, 2019

Diagonale Du Vide



w/ Lake Ruth, The New Lines, The Sea And Cake, Plone, Tortoise, Bertrand Burgalat, The High Llamas, Jim O'Rourke, Monade, Giorgio Tuma, Caverns Of Anti-Matter, Stereolab, Adrian Younge, Imitation Electric Piano, Le SuperHomard, April March, more

The recent amazing Stereolab reissues have propelled me back into the "comfort food" of my tastes, which is not at all a bad thing.  A much more "straightforward" mix, and one I actually really like.  It may actually be my favorite at this moment (though I feel that way about most of them at some point or another).  Dots And Loops changed my life when I was 16 (not remotely being hyperbolic there), and the genealogy of Stereolab and the doors opened that led to their peers was incredibly important.  I'm not saying the bulk of this is reminiscent of 'Lab, but they were the key that opened the door for me.  This mix is a bit of a palate cleanser I guess, nothing too weird, just incredibly damned great songs.  

I would also urge anyone reading to check out Lake Ruth's latest 7-inch, which you can get here.  I can't recommend it enough.  You can hear some of it in this mix - they're a great band that seem to just get better with every release, they hold their own alongside the greats like the aforementioned Stereolab et al, and they're also lovely people and a band very much worth of your support.  

I hope you enjoy the mix!

xx
Nick

Sans Issue



w/ Cobalt Chapel, Pram, John Cale, Comus, Moon Wiring Club, Broadcast, Brainticket, The Advisory Circle, Egg, Ennio Morricone, Goblin, Fusioon, Magnetic Systems, Lena Platonos, Bruno Nicolai, Simon Park, Stereolab, Boards Of Canada, Armando Sciascia, Julian's Treatment, Jean-Pierre Massiera, Grazie Zia, Hax Cel, Strawberry Alarm Clock, The Vampires Of Dartmoore, Caravelli & Vasori, Syd Barrett, Vandroogenbroeck & Allen + Reidy, Manfred Hubler, more

Slightly (and initially unintentionally, or at least unconsciously) somewhat Halloween-esque - but only a little, I think.  

Generator Foxtrot


w/ Jacques Thollot, Cavern of Anti-Matter, Moon Wiring Club, Cosmic Analog Ensemble, BBC Radiophonic Workshop, David Axelrod, Death And Vanilla, Belbury Poly, Time Attendant, Tony Iglio, Argo, P Wilsher & K Chesher, Broadcast, Richard Norris, Forever Pavot, The Advisory Circle, Paul Guiot, Giampiero Boneschi, Eddie Warner, Don Harper, Cecil Leuter, Franco Mincalizzi, Simon Park, Frank Dukes, Mario Molino, Lamprot's Group, more

Pendulum



w/ Harmonia, Broadcast, Atomic Forest, The Galaxy Electric, Uilab, Klaatu, Lake Ruth, Moon Wiring Club, Stereolab, Brian Eno, Jacco Gardner, The New Lines, The Torchbearers, Christophe, Fuehrs & Froehling, Gila, Europa 51, Chrysalis, April March & Aquaserge, Irmin Schmidt & Bruno Spoerri, Giles, Giles and Fripp, more

Thursday, October 24, 2019

Tower Of Our Tuning



w/ Broadcast, Le Systeme Crapoutchik, Bruce Haack, Gershon Kingsley, Rotary Connection, Billy Green, Trifile, The Animated Egg, Jane Weaver, Basil Kirchin, Stereolab, Adrian Younge, Toomorrow, The Soundcarriers, 101 Strings Orchestra, Serge Gainsbourg, Novak, Gwenno, Death And Vanilla, Nobody, Superbravo, more

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Tout Arrive



w/ Aquaserge, The Galaxy Electric, Lake Ruth, Stereolab, Francois de Roubaix, Broadcast, Lesiman, Janko Nilovic, Listening Center, James Asher, Keith Mansfield, Peter Thomas, Galaxy-Lin, Rene Costy, The New Lines, Stringtronics, Testbild!, Tortoise, The Predicate Production Guild, Mercabru, Turn On, Astrobal, April March, Tremblexy, Post Industrial Boys, Laetitia Sadier Source Ensemble, M.A BEAT!, Joel Vandroogenbroeck, Alberto Baldan Bembo, Cordara Orchestra, more

Friday, October 4, 2019

Find Yourself



w/ Lake Ruth, Cavern of Anti-Matter, Heaven & Earth, The New Lines, Kevin Ayers, Alain Kan, The United States of America, Claude Lombard, Isabelle Aubret, Jacco Gardner, Jim O'Rourke, Stereolab, Tortoise, Euphoria, Les Maledictus Sound, Fifty Foot Hose, American Breed, Brigitte Fontaine, Ys, Os Mutantes, The High Llamas, Vanishing Twin, Lee Hazlewood, The Mind Expanders, The Spoils Of War, Truck, The Moody Blues, & more

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Starlit Collapse



w/ Stringtronics, The Sea And Cake, Death And Vanilla, Stanley Myers, Sven Libaek, Pram, Stereolab, Gwenno, Moon Wiring Club, Testbild!, The New Lines, Pierre Cavalli, Broadcast, The Predicate Production Guild, Tortoise, Peter Thomas Sound Orchestra, Cavern Of Anti-Matter, Vanishing Twin, Stefano Torossi, Sandro Brugnolini, Richard Rodney Bennett, Basil Kirchin, Eno, Moebius & Roedelius, Stelvio Cipriani, High Llamas, The Crime Sound Orchestra, Minghi & Montanari & Conrado, Alan Hawkshaw, Don Harper, Dymaxion, The Sons Of Silence, more


I will type out the full tracklist when I get the chance - the way I put this one together, my notes are all handwritten and not very well.  Really like this one if I may say so - I think I am in a positive headspace where I am liking each mix very much - the cliche that the favorite is the most recent one, which isn't always the case, is true for me at the moment.  I don't always feel that way, so I will enjoy it in this moment.  If you want a copy in mp3 (or whatever) format, let me know.  One day, someone will ask me for that, I know it.  I hope you find this as enjoyable as I did making it.

Sunday, September 29, 2019

Attractive Suntraps



(w/ Cavern of Anti-Matter, Can, Neu!, Belbury Poly, Broadcast, Moon Wiring Club, Eno, Moebius & Roedelius, The Belbury Circle, Goblin, Francois de Roubaix, Dymaxion, The Group, Tortoise, Harmonia, Barry Adamson, Pye Corner Audio, Sinoia Caves, ToiToiToi, Seeland, Steve Moore, and more!)
A long journey but a worthwhile one I think - includes music from the film In Fabric by Cavern of Anti-Matter, which were extracted from the film by me (the soundtrack should see official release early next year) and "re-mixed"/EQ'd to sound as good as possible.  The soundtrack to the film is wonderful (the film itself is quite good).  If you'd like an mp3 of this show, get in touch!  I really think this mix came out very well - I hope you enjoy it! 

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Happy birthday, Trish Keenan

There's a very lovely post over at The Future Crayon on the occasion of Trish's birthday.  Please check it out.

I'd like to repost a couple of mixes I made in honor of Trish on her birthday the past two years; I considered making a new one but I quite like these and think they stand up pretty well. 

Happy birthday, Trish - you're deeply missed.




Friday, September 27, 2019

Jours Futurs



Can, Broadcast, Tortoise, Harmonia, Gwenno, Nino Ferrer, Vanishing Twin, Stereolab, Don Harper, Catharsis, Death And Vanilla, The High Llamas, Camille Sauvage, Moon Wiring Club, Jane Weaver, Peter Thomas, The Pawnshop, Polish Radio Orchestra, Emil Richards, Eolomea, and more

(I'll post the full tracklist here in the next few days - Mixcloud goobered it up.  Until then, I hope you enjoy!  If you would like the mp3 of the full show, just let me know!)


Saturday, September 21, 2019

Sometimes When I Stretch



(w/ Stereolab, April March, The High Llamas, Testbild!, Aquaserge, Mouse On Mars, Pram, Jane Weaver, Broadcast, Death And Vanilla, more)

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Enregistrements Fantastiques



(w/ Francois De Roubaix, Jean-Claude Vannier, Serge Gainsbourg, Jean-Pierre Ferland, Jane Birkin, Michel Colombier, Francoise Hardy, Guy Bonnet, France Gall, April March, Aquaserge, Brigitte Bardot, Caravelli, Brigitte Fontaine, Christophe, Catharsis, Mireille Darc, Les Roches Martin, and more)

Monday, September 9, 2019

Dream By Numbers



(w/ Claude Lombard, Delia Derbyshire, Stelvio Cipriani, Moon Wiring Club, Vanishing Twin, Peaking Lights, Ennio Morricone, Broadcast, Death And Vanilla, Pram, Brigitte Fontaine, Stereolab, Boards Of Canada, Svensk, The Galaxy Electric, and more)

 - I previously uploaded this mix but quickly took it down due to the audio getting screwed up; I fixed it and re-uploaded it.  A bit on the long side but hopefully worth it.  As always if you want a copy in mp3 format (or really any format) just let me know!

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Summer's Bird



“Footprints On The Moon” – Johnny Harris
“Reflections On A Misty Morning” – Brian Bennett
“Maldonne” – Vladimir Cosma
“Summer’s Bird” – Hong Kong In The 60s
“Volto di Donna” – Orgasmo Sonore
“Guitare Blessee” – Claude Perraudin
“Wind Surf Ballad” – Dominique Guiot
“Argepegs d’April” – Bougiouzis & Verschu
“Tournis Perpétuel” – Caravelli
“Chanson D'o” – Francoise Hardy
“Happiness Is Having Two Killer Whales As Friends” – Stelvio Cipriani
“Profumo Della Notte” – Giuliano Sorgini
“Extase” – Alessandro Alessandroni
“A New World” – Brian Bennett
“Selvaggia” (Cinevox) – Bixio-Tempura-Frizzi
“Il N'y A Pas D'accord Parfait” – Bougiouzis & Verschu
“Theresa Lark Of Ascension” – Broadcast
“Le Petit Casino” – Claude Perraudin
"Les Deux Poissons” – Dominique Guiot
“Fuite en Zig-Zag” – Caravelli
“La Solitude” – Francis Lai
"Fatiguee" – Francoise Hardy
"She’ll Never Come Back" – Stelvio Cipriani
"Dans la Serre" – Vladimir Cosma
"Amore Come Dolore" – Ennio Morricone

Astral Plain



1. “Klaabu Hõljung” – Sven Grunberg
2. “Vega” – Anthony Hobson
3. “Shorelines” – Rick Baker
4. “Heavy Industry” – Alan Hawkshaw
5. “Breezy Shore” – Mladen Franko
6. “Disk Drivin’ (a)” – Laszlo Bencker
7. “Dawn Run” – Nick Sargent
8. “Second Ordeal” – Frank McDonald & Terry Devine-King
9. “Tomorrow’s Transport” – Geoff Bastow
10. “Pool” – Chameleon
11. “Starlight” – Francis Monkman
12. “Hansom Street” - Claude Benoit & Marc Goldfeder
13. “Windsurfer” – Nick Sargent
14. “Future Perspectives” – Anthony Hobson
15. “Sunken Cathedral” – Paul Williams
16. “Naksitrallid” – Sven Grunberg
17. “Discovery” – Brian Bennett
18. “Slowdrift” – Rick Baker
19. “Eldorado” – Alan Hawkshaw
20. “Fathoms” – Frank McDonald & Terry Devine-King
21. “New Beginnings” – Anthony Hobson
22. “Tomorrow’s City” – Geoff Bastow
23. “Dahlia” – Chameleon
24. “Õhtu” – Sven Grunberg
25. “Final Inspection” – Tony Hymas
26. “Shining Ice” – Williams & Grossart
27. “Touch Tone Keyboard” – Sam Sklair & Gus Gulbraith
28. “Fantastic Journey” – Brian Bennett
29. “Astral Plain” – Alan Hawkshaw
30. “Surf Rider” – Mike Vickers
31. “Getting Ready” – Francis Monkman
32. “Silicone Chip” - Irving Martin & Brian Dee
33. “Peaceful Nature” – Mladen Franko
34. “Tomorrow’s Dream” – Geoff Bastow
35. “Morning Dew” – Williams & Grossart
36. “Cantique” – Chameleon
37. “Dissolve In Sepia” – Derek Austin
38. “Arc En Ciel (2)” – Claude Perraudin

Reve de Marche



(w/ The High Llamas, Aquaserge, The New Lines, Stereolab, Serge Gainsbourg, April March, John Foxx and The Belbury Circle, Testbild!, Orgasmo Sonore, The Vampires of Dartmoore, John Barry, David Axelrod, Broadcast, Leonie, Sven Grunberg, Karin Krog, and more)

A Mind Level



(w/ Can, Broadcast, Death And Vanilla, David Axelrod, Gila, Belbury Poly, Stereolab, The Soundcarriers, The New Lines, Adrian Younge, Little Tornados, Electric Prunes, Ian Neal, Claude Perraudin, Dominique Guiot, Testbild!, Orgasmo Sonore, Benjamin Schoos, Spratleys Japs, Gerard Zadj, Simon Park, Giuliano Sorgini, and more)

Loosing Of The Shadow



1. Flight Of The Raven (Emerald Web)
2. Vota Ubu (Vanishing Twin)
3. La Dimostrazione (Daniele Patucchi)
4. Found Birds (Jane Weaver)
5. Les Cagouilles (Forever Pavot)
6. Premiers Detours (Cosmic Analog Ensemble)
7. Locusts (Broadcast)
8. Firebird (White Noise)
9. Parallels (Still Corners)
10. Jumbleo Palipest (TURN ON)
11. Uncolored Past (Tara King Th.)
12. Lady Magnolia (High Llamas Remix) (Piero Umiliani)
13. Blaue Milch (Peter Thomas Sound Orchestra vs Stereolab)
14. Rainbo Conversation (Russell Simins Mix) (Stereolab)
15. Key Sparrow (Peaking Lights)
16. Shelter (Beautify Junkyards)
17. Hammer Without A Master (Underdog Remix) (Broadcast)
18. Quattro Lineari (M.A BEAT!)
19. Million Dollar Mermaid (Vanishing Twin)
20. I’m The Unknown (Cavern Of Anti-Matter)
21. Survivor (Klaus Weiss)
22. Feuerland (Michael Rother)
23. Les Electroniciens (Bruno Spoerri)
24. Danger Cruising (Pyrolator)
25. Use Once and Destroy (Dymaxion)
26. H>A>K (Loops Variation) (Jane Weaver)
27. Loosing of the Shadow (Emerald Web)
28. Weeping Eelgrass (Mladen Franko)
29. Regenwurm (Hans Joachim Roedelius)
30. Creatures Of The Day (Moon Wiring Club)
31. Your Hidden Dreams (White Noise)

Terminal To Nothingness



1. Telegraph Is Calling (The Pawnshop)
2. Girl & Robot With Flowers, Pt. 4 (The Greg Foat Group)
3. Balloons (Peter Pan & The Good Fairies)
4. La Dimostrazione (Daniele Patucchi)
5. Telescope (Vanishing Twin)
6. Italian Shoes Continuum (Stereolab)
7. Dioz Delirium (Death And Vanilla)
8. Gebrauchmusik (Dymaxion)
9. Terminal To Nothingness (ToiToiToi)
10. Synthetic Rendezvous (Alessandro Alessandroni)
11. Superpotenza (Farlocco)
12. Garcon Glacon (April March)
13. Run (Air)
14. 69 Annee Erotique (Serge Gainsbourg)
15. Fragment Pour Le Future de L'homme (Laetitia Sadier)
16. Swingin' Millie (Ian Simmonds)
17. Endless Pursuits Of What Doesn't Exist (The Predicate Production Group)
18. Mad Town (Giuliano Sorgini)
19. Vai Gorilla (Bixio/Frizzi/Tempera)
20. Privacy (Freedom Power)
21. I've Glimpsed At You (Sandro Brugnolini)
22. Caballo Salvaje (Unidades)
23. Indagine Su Un Cittadino Al Di Sopra Di Ogni Sospetto (Calibro 35)
24. Be Quite (Jean Jacques Dexter)
25. Radio Galaxia (Jean-Pierre Massiera)
26. Cumulus Culture Centre (ToiToiToi)
27. Momento (Alessandro Alessandroni)
28. Stuffed Aubergine (Vangelis)
29. Magician's Success (Vanishing Twin)
30. L'arbre Et L'oiseau (Claude Lombard)
31. Les Bons Bons Des Raisons (Stereolab)
32. Can Cladders (The High Llamas)
33. Yamanaka Lake (Giovanni Tommaso)
34. Koweth Ker (Gwenno)
35. Only An Ocean (Lake Ruth and Listening Center)
36. Reality From Dream (Death And Vanilla)

Empty Avenues



1. Empty Avenues (John Foxx and The Belbury Circle)
2. A Flaw In The Iris (LP) (Death And Vanilla)
3. L’erba di Prima (Orgasmo Sonore)
4. Mutatis Mutandis (Cosmic Analog Ensemble)
5. Privolva (Jacco Gardner)
6. Chanctonbury Rings (Belbury Poly)
7. You Are Not An Island (LP) (Vanishing Twin)
8. Moodles (Stereolab)
9. The Clockwork Lighthouse (Pram)
10. Lady Greenfingers (Moon Wiring Club)
11. I-Man Transport (Dymaxion)
12. Element (Loops Variation) (Jane Weaver)
13. Nosferato (M.A BEAT!)
14. Galactic Flare (Retep Folo)
15. Electrocation of Fire Ants (TURN ON)
16. Golau Arall (Gwenno)
17. Locusts (Broadcast)
18. Movin’ On Static (Cavern of Anti-Matter)
19. Descent (Jacco Gardner)
20. Golden Apples Of The Sun (Beautify Junkyards)
21. A Victimless Crime (Lake Ruth)
22. Styx (Catharsis)
23. Red Mountain (Christophe)
24. Reception / Group Therapy (Broadcast and The Focus Group)
25. Procession Of The Equinoxes (Moon Wiring Club)
26. My Shade (Inst.) (The Pawnshop)
27. Spectre (Arkham)
28. Generique (Alain Goraguer)
29. Planete Sauvage (LP) (Vanishing Twin)
30. L’Interrogatoire (Jacky Chalard)
31. Lune Gibbeuse (Cosmic Analog Ensemble)
32. Bolero On The Moon Rocks (Peter Thomas)
33. Ballad For Bernt (Krzysztof Komeda)
34. Ballad For Bernt (Testbild!)

Monday, September 2, 2019

(Non)Dancing Queen



ABBA is likely the last group I would be expected to like (and I don't love them, but they are good fun and perhaps underrated as artists), but this song struck me lately.  The lyrics are kept somewhat vague as to the "You" (the music video takes the obvious romantic angle, though I don't necessarily believe that means they intended the song to be interpreted that way).  It's actually a bit clever - I would assume most would interpret it as a romantic song, but the mood of it suggests to me that it's something else.  Maybe someone looking back on their life before crossing paths with someone who would irrevocably alter their life - maybe sung from the other side of a breakup.  But I think the song could also be taken to mean something else other than a person.  The reason the song has been in my head off and on for several months is because I have formed a personal interpretation of the song to be referring to an affliction.

A little over a year ago I had a strange feeling in the palm of my right hand.  It was about the size of a quarter.  It's hard to explain what it felt like - it was just a sensation.  I had tripped going up a nasty set of stairs and fallen forward onto my hands; it wasn't a hard fall, but I assumed the feeling in my hand was from that.  I've always been clumsy.  That feeling lasted a couple of months, and was more annoying than anything else - it wasn't painful, or particularly concerning, and it didn't interfere with my life.  Then, over the course of about a week, the feeling spread throughout my hand until my entire hand - and eventually my forearm all the way up to just shy of my elbow - had this feeling, and then very quickly it progressed to my losing the vast majority of sensation in my hand and forearm.  I went to urgent care, got x-rays, all came back fine.  As a few more days passed, I basically lost most of the use of my right hand.  I described it as feeling like placing my hand into the wet sand on a beach and pulling it out with sand caked on my hand that blocks sensation and feels, for lack of a better term, rough.  There was no pain.  It was then assumed it was either muscle pinching a nerve (I was pretty tense at the time) or a problem in my spike, such as spinal stenosis.  I got sent for an MRI on a Friday, and on Monday I was given the news that I had multiple sclerosis. 

Where I am with MS is called "clinically isolated syndrome."  There are no other symptoms in my past that can be linked to MS.  I have had symptoms that could be MS, but there are other explanations for those things so the doctors and I are of the assumption that those other explanations are true, so we consider this one "attack" to be my first symptom.  That is good news of a sort - many people go years before a diagnosis, especially if the person has relapsing-remitting MS; the symptoms go away as the body heals the damage to the nerve, and the symptoms generally then also retreat.  Not without some lasting issues, though.  Scar tissue on the nerves inhibit the nervous system from working at full capacity.  Like if you had a damaged wire or hose - it may still work, but it won't work as well as it did before the damage was done.  (Not a great analogy, I know.)  As the issue cleared up on its own - I have not yet been recommended to take MS medication - I went through a brief phase of spasticity in my hand (which spread into my left hand occasionally as well), but after several weeks it completely cleared up.  But some problems remain.  Namely, I had to relearn coordination.  Because the nerve leading to my hand and arm was damaged and now has scar tissue on it, it's...lopsided?  For lack of a better description.  So getting my hands to work in tandem is still a struggle, though it is improving quite well.  Playing guitar - which my doctor considers part of my physical therapy - became a frustration.  Keyboards too.  I'm not a virtuoso, in fact I am not well versed in music theory nor do I have a great deal of knowledge as it comes to scales and things like that.  But I have been playing guitar since I was 12.  Keyboards were a more recent thing for me, but I learned well enough to play what I want to play.  Now I have to relearn those things.  Having to relearn guitar especially is maddening.  But, this is the hand I was dealt, and I'm not going to give up on playing and writing - it is just hitting snags. 

In a week or two I go in for another MRI, this one much more extensive.  I have not thus far seen a scan of my brain.  Only my spinal cord.  It would be dishonest to say I am not scared of what we might find. 

Like my interpretation of ABBA's "The Day Before You Came," MS has created a dividing line in my life, a sort of BC and AD - before MS, and after MS.  I suspect the MRI will reinforce that feeling.  Like the protagonist in that song, I often think about my life before the MS took hold.  In a strange way, my life is far better now, in general, than it was then.  I plan to fight to continue that trend - I'm not discouraged or considering slowing down my writing and musical project.  It has been made that much more difficult for me, and is making it slower going than I would hope (not that I work quickly in the first place), but forward is the only direction I know how to go in. 

Hopefully soon there will be some news on that front.  I may ask some of the incredible musicians I know if they would like to / be willing to collaborate in some small ways.  No matter what, I keep going.